The Holiday Season Coming to an End - 2020.

Managing the seemingly inevitable holiday season stress has always been quite tricky when each year the feeling of having to buy bigger and better gifts than those past is an extra weight on most shoulders. Now add a quick sprinkle of a worldly pandemic into the cookie mix and you now have the recipe for the holiday season of 2020.

Since I was a little kid I always thought that the holidays had to be done with fine precision and filled with old traditions in order for it to feel “right.” Stockings on the mantle, candles in the window, cookies in the oven, and greeting cards in the mail. Throughout this past month, I carried out these holiday hobbies and traditions more than I ever have in order to try and make up for what has been a horrible year. However, even with the amazon truck at my house every day and the Starbucks peppermint mocha in my hand, I can’t seem to shake the low grade feeling that something is wrong, something doesn’t “feel right.” Ignoring this feeling, I continued to watch endless holiday movies on Hallmark, attended drive-in light shows, and filled the house with holiday music but it still didn't feel right.   

I was so caught up in trying to make this holiday season the best one yet, due to the year we all had, that it turned out it made me more overwhelmed and sad. I was ignoring my emotions that this holiday season, as much as I don’t want to admit it, was inevitably different and that the “feeling” of the holiday season was not the same this year.

 This past month my focus was on the meaningless tangible items and holiday events I participated in to try and mask the sadness we all may have felt this holiday season. The sadness of not having all 50 members of our extended family around the tree at grandma and grandpa’s house or the annual office staff holiday party. The reason this holiday season didn’t feel right was because the most important aspects as to what makes it “feel like the holiday season” were missing due to the current state of the world. Families not being all together, travel restrictions, and the loss of compassion we seem to forget we have sometimes. Holidays aren’t about the tangible items that decorate your house, holidays are a feeling. The feeling you get when you see all your family around the dinner table, the warm hug from your grandparents, the feeling of locking up your office door or turning in your last homework assignment before the holiday break. It’s the feeling of getting a break from all the responsibilities and being with the people you care and love about the most.

 Maybe for some of you, this holiday season was anything but joyful and the only countdown you’re thinking about is the countdown to a new year and, in all honesty, you’re not alone. Maybe for some of you, this holiday season was a time to just turn off the computer and get that well-needed break from the office or the vast amounts of school work and not feel guilty for not putting up the Christmas tree or buying expensive presents this year, and that’s okay too.

This holiday season I hope you found your holiday feeling in the little things, the unexpected things that made you stop and smile in the middle of your day. I hope you forgot about all the stress that comes with this time of year and realized that your presence this holiday season maybe that holiday “feeling” for someone else. 

 All my love,

Maggie Paulus